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I have been writing columns since 2006 for the Denver Post, the National Multiple Sclerosis Society magazine and various other publications. This blog contains all of these columns. Feel free to use the tags below to navigate.

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Saturday, July 30, 2011

A POLITICAL PARABLE

Son: Dad, I need to talk to you about my allowance. It's just not enough.
Dad: I give you $100 per year. How much are you spending?
Son: I spend about $150 per year.
Dad: $150! Where do you get the extra $50?
Son: I borrow it from some kids at school. They know you'll pay for it if I can't and I pay them some interest every month.
Dad: I'm glad to see you are such a good businessman. How much do you owe these kids and how much interest do you pay each year?
Son: I owe $500 now. I pay interest of about $11 per year.
Dad: So only $11 out of your $100 allowance is going to interest? That's not bad!
Son: Yes, it is no big deal. But I would like to reduce my debt and I believe it should be a shared sacrifice on both our parts. Here's what i propose. I'm willing to cut my spending if you'll increase my allowance by the same amount. Over the next 10 years i promise to reduce my spending by a total of $100. Then you can increase my allowance by $100 - a mere $10 per year.
Dad: Sounds reasonable. I will give you $110 next year, and you will reduce your spending to what?
Son: $160.
Dad: Wait, that's more than you spent this year. I thought you were going to reduce your spending.
Son: I am. You see, without our agreement I was going to spend $165 next year. It has to be more than this year because of inflation and I want to get some new tires for my bike. But because of our agreement I am willing to only spend $160 for a savings of $5. I know this is confusing so here's a schedule of my spending reductions by year. You'll see the total savings is $100.
Dad: I think I get it now. I notice from your schedule that most of your savings are in years 9 and 10. Is that right?
Son: Yes, that's right. I figure that gives me enough time to adjust my spending habits.
Dad: And at the end of 10 years your debt increases from $500 to $800.
Son: Yes, but without our agreement it would have been $1,000!
Dad: Brilliant!
(Mom enters the room.)
Mom: Honey I am going to the mall to buy a dress. It is on sale for 50% off.
Dad: You know we don't have any money right now, don't you?
Mom: Of course I know that. But this actually saves us money.
Dad: Brilliant!
Son: Dad, our neighbor Mr. Jones is at the door and wants to talk to you.
Mr. Jones: I would like to retire next year and would like to propose a deal. If you will pay for my retirement, then my children will pay retirement for both you and your wife.
Dad: But you only have one son - and he doesn't even have a job!
Mr. Jones: That's not a problem because we have arranged with some of his friends to help.
Dad: Brilliant!
(A perfect stranger walks to the front door.)
Perfect Stranger: Hey, I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I have some land in Florida you might be interested in . . .

David LeSueur lives in Littleton, CO with his wife Mary. He is currently heading up a petition drive to raise taxes on everyone whose last name begins with the letter "T".

1 comment:

John said...

I'm sad I was never this smart about my allowance. But maybe we can do some retroactive budgeting? Given that I could have had 10$ a year more each year in allowance for let's say the 5 years when I was 8-13, that's 150$, plus interest for the 20 years since. Does that mean I get 500$ now? Feel free to send me the check.